Practical Ways for Husbands and Wives to fulfill their Ephesians 5 roles per YOU - GCT

June 8, 2018
GCT:  Here is the list that I promised you that I consolidated from several of you who responded to how we can practically fulfill our God given roles in our marriage relationships based upon Ephesians 5:22-33.  Just in time for the weekend.  - Enjoy in the Lord!

Husbands – How you can practically show that you love your wife
as Christ loves the church. - Written by wives

1.     Establish weekly date night. Make it sacred. Only cancel date-night in the event of illness. Always ask wife what she would like to do.
2.     Move towards your wife and accept her need to talk, connect and to be reassured of your love for her. 
3.     Bring home flowers frequently. Weekly preferred. Available at Trader Joe’s for $3.99. Dozen roses and other flowers at Costco for $14.99. Inexpensive bouquets available at all Grocery stores. Watch for her responses. Bring her favorite flowers once you figure it out.
4.     Share your thoughts with your wife and don’t resist her efforts to draw your thoughts and words out in conversation.
5.     Ask wife “what’s on the calendar this week?  What are you up to honey?
6.     Use your creativity to say loving words to your wife and say them. Take advantage of any opportunity to compliment her hairstyle or her outfit. Here’s how. “I like your hair that way”. “That color looks good on you”. “That outfit is very flattering.” Build her confidence that you like the way she looks.
7.     Be willing to quickly resolve interpersonal issues and never say, “Let’s just drop it and move on.”
8.     Snuggle wife once per week with no agenda. 
9.     Take wife away for overnight, romantic getaway.  At least twice a year.  Your kids will survive and someone will watch them.
10.  Look for ways to tell her that you will always be loyal to her forever – that she is the one love of your life – the only woman for you.
11.  Ask daily “Anything I can do around the house for you today or this week?”
12.  Share your dreams and visions of the future together. Ask her what her dreams and visions are. Share yours. 
13.  Ask wife at the end of each week “What was the best part of your week?”  And “What was the worst part of your week?”  Listen even if it bores you to tears. SAY NOTHING other than acknowledging her feelings. Do not offer solutions as to how she could have “fixed” the worst parts of her week.
14.  Let her know that you treasure her and put the highest value upon her as a person. 
15.  Let her know that what she does and thinks are important to you.
Wives – How you can submit and respect your husband as to the Lord.
-Written by husbands

1. Understand me enough to know how and when to encourage me in the Lord to not live in my own strength, but live in the strength of the Spirit.
2. Stand behind me and let me know you support my work and endeavors.
3. Remind me of true Gospel grace every single day, because I desperately need it.
4. Let me know that you respect and appreciate my desire to protect and provide for you and the family.
5. Encourage me to pursue God before anything else, and seek him in my work and family and church life.
6. Acknowledge that you know that I will stand before God in full responsibility for our family and you will strive to make my leadership of you easy and joyful.
7. On days when I am weak and vulnerable and not loving and serving and leading my family like I’m called to do, react with kindness and grace to my weakness, reflect Christ towards me in all you do, and encourage me with scripture to lean on God more than anything else.
8. Trust in his ability to analyze things and offer solutions. 
9. When he doesn’t pursue you, do not react in anger and frustration and withdrawal, but die to self and pursue and seek affection regardless of his failures.
10. Spend time together doing ministry, serving, hobbies, having fun like he has fun.  Let him know that you like being his friend by spending fun time together.
11. Honor his need for sexual intimacy even when you do not feel like it.  That includes fulfilling his need to visually see you as only he can see you.  Respect how God made him to be visually stunned by you. And wear that fact confidently!

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